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Good morning!
Today’s quote is from a poet: “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”
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Schizo
Great quote!
(Try saying that 5 times, real fast.)
Have any of you read Randy Alcorn’s book, “Safely Home”? Excellent. I highly recommend it.
I don’t know the quote, but I like it.
that that that that that!
(How’d I do!
)
Loved the quote and googled it, so I won’t submit an answer. I haven’t read much of his work, but I like this quote enough to make a point of reading some of his work.
Ah Yeats, I love Yeats.
Serious question: I have narrowed my new haircut down to two styles. What about Hillary’s haircut? It’s similar to Diana’s before she died. What do you think about it? Is it merely functional or boring. Is it just age appropriate? What does that “do” say to you?
NJL,
I’ve alwyas been quite the tomboy and never given too much attention so such things. But I have a girl-coach. She’s a local TV news reporter. She’s gorgeous and has to think about these things. My hair used to be cut a lot like Hillary’s with my reason being I kept it short for surfing. But my friend said, “You need a new do. We need to get rid of the swept back boy cut. Hillary had to have that cut to be one of the guys. If she goes girly the press gets catty.”
So that’s what Hillary’s do said to her.
My friend gave me a new style, btw, that is not as functional as I’d like when I have to duck-dive a wave–it’s longer–but I can’t believe the complimnets I get.
Since I know nothing about hairdos, NJ Lawyer, do you think hair styles might vary by region? or by class?
To the extent that I (a guy) pay attention, it comes across as “professional” and “easy-to-maintain”, with perhaps a touch of femininity — there are other professional cuts that are more severe.
Generally, if it allows her to be herself, then so much the better. I think it does. But let’s face it this matching look to audience expectations is a tough thing, especially this guy thinks, for women.
NJL, I’m sure your new haircut is just fine. I, for the life of me, can’t picture Hillary’s hairstyle, nor do I remember Diana’s.
I’ll bet most of the men here would say something similar.
Once, long, long ago, my wife came in and said, “How do you like my new hair do?”. I said, “How was it before?”
That only happened once.
NJL,
I’ve never cared a lot about hairstyles except for ease of getting ready in the morning. But from the women’s magazines I’ve read in doctors’ waiting rooms, what looks good on someone depends a lot on the shape of the face and the nature of the hair (thin or thick, straight or wavy). So what looks good on one person may look very poor on another.
Personally I like hair a bit longer than that (though right now I’m letting my grow out because that’s what my husband likes), but if I knew someone whose smile generally radiated joy and compassion I would think her beautiful regardless of her hair. And someone who lacked joy or compassion would not look good to me no matter what she did with her hair.
I’ve read Safely Home and I liked the story.
Alcorn is not the greatest novelist, but he is an impassioned man who loves the Lord and listens to what God tells him to do. He carries boxes of his books in the back of his car and hands them out to anyone who evinces an interest. He’s got some incredible stories, as a result, of how his books have helped people.
His book Money, Possessions and Eternity is very convicting and worth a read. http://tinyurl.com/2hokcx
(Note: I used tinyurl for the first time right there. Thanks for the tip!)
Chas: once again,
My husband likes longer hair, too. It can look absolutely terrible to me, but he’ll think it’s fine as long as it’s not too short and does not look like a “beauty shop” hairdo.
I agree with Pauline–what looks good on someone is very individual. I also agree with the rest of what she said. I once knew a very elderly woman with white hair that simply would not stay in place. She had the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, and I don’t think anyone noticed her hair.
NJL: Are you wanting to change your look and become more updated?
Here is my advice. Ask around. Women love to hear: Oh you have a great style, do you mind telling me who does your hair? Compliments them, gets you info. Choose a more upscale salon and here is where I get on shaky ground…if you are referred to a male hair stylist choose him over the female all things being equal. Men look at women as a hobby. They instinctively know what looks better on her whether they realize it or not. Get a really good cut (then get someone less expensive to maintain it for you). Tell the salon when you make the appointment that it is your first time with this stylist and you want them to spend a little time with you. Think of it this way: Even if you spend a hundred dollars on this cut you wear it every day!!! Some people spend $3 a day on Coffee!!!! We are talking about your hair!
Now NO ONE tell my sister in law I gave this advice…I can’t afford myself on the open market.
Chas,
I think I once made that mistake…
Now I take it as a personal challenge to see if I can compliment her on her haircut before she asks me…
Chas - The first time I dyed my hair, I had to point it out to my husband.
Pauline - Excellent point.
NJL - I had short hair when I was younger, cuz whenever I tried to grow it out, it would look so awful. Finally, many years ago, I got a different cut that allowed it to grow out nicely, & had quite long hair for a while.
Now my hair comes to a little above my shoulders, it is wavy-to-curlyish, with swept over bangs, & held back by a black headband. It’s the best look I’ve ever had. And it’s easy to care for.
LOST is coming back tonight! Yay!
A review I read says that it is worth waiting for, & the actors & actresses on the show are more excited about the storyline than they’ve been since the 1st season.
My girlfriend is a bit of a tomboy, and she wears naturally beautiful bright red hair rather short. Late last year, I was musing about shaving my beard (which she’s rather fond of); she made a deal: if I shaved, she’d dye her hair black.
Naturally, I still have my beard. For now.
Janie, Thanks, but it wasn’t funny. From some of the other posts, I gather that I’m not alone in this (How was it?).
NJL, you have some good advice here. My suggestion is to consider who you care about. Do you want to impress men or women? (No, it isn’t the same.) I suspect a woman would want “stylish”. A man doesn’t care,as long as it looks good.
(I used to argue with the women at work about this. Some thought that stylish clothing was important to men.
A man doesn’t care about the style as long as she looks good.)
Men, by and large, like long hair. Notice Barbie and all the ads have women with long hair.
However, my wife’s hair bushes out as it gets long, and she looks better with it short. She doesn’t dye it, it’s a beautiful gray.
My wife appreciates all compliments, but if a man compliments her, it’s special.
Pauline: I’m sure your husband like longer hair, most men do. However, you say, “He likes it that way”. Be sure he really does, and it’s not something you assume. Back when women had a style where they piled their hair on top of their head. (Really did, most of you don’t remember that.) It was a lot of work and my wife wore it because she thought I liked it that way. She was delighted to discover that I really didn’t.
Women went through fads where they teased their hair. And another where the young women ironed it. (I’ll bet some of you did that.) I never understood why. And I was young then.
KarenO,
LOST lost me long ago.
Well, thanks for all those answers (and keep ‘em coming if you’re so inclined)! As I said, I had it down to two styles — one short like Hillary’s and one longer with layers. What I am afraid of is what Harris mentioned: that it looks “professional.” Hillary’s hair is neat and all that, I’m not dissing it at all, but it says “lawyer” to me (and we all know I’m ambivalent about this profession). I do want something more “updated,” and I want to look like a girl — not a dull professional. I like longer, softer hairstyles, but as I get older, it gets progressively shorter. I know a hairstyle doesn’t necessarily reflect what’s inside a person, but it does provide an initial impression, and I don’t want my head to scream dull lawyer.
Kim, your advice will definitely be taken. Sometimes it’s best to be willing to spend a buck! This is one of those times! You are also correct about a male hair stylist. The best haircuts I ever got were done by a man, but it was very stressful keeping my knees together. Now that I’m older, that probably won’t happen again, so I’ll give that part of your advice real thought, too.
Even if I haven’t commented on your comment, believe me I have taken something from each one. I’m glad men posted! I really appreciate the answers you’ve given to my hair question (Chas, I appreciate your honesty, and the fact that so many of your male compatriots are coming to your “defense” tells me that I want something “striking.”)
(I, too, am looking forward to LOST.)
Did anyone watch the Republican debate at the Reagan Library last night?
I was half-way expecting a thread on it, being that it was the last debate before the super primary.
VS,
Yes. This Christmas was the year of Alcorn. I gave Safey Home to eldest, Edge of Eternity to second, Deception to third, Dominion to fourth, and Deadline to fifth. Heaven was last year.
Hair:
People go to salons? What in the world?
On LOST
So..what’s the deal?
Are they going back,or something.
I wondered how they would come up with a new season, the way it ended.
Didn’t Jack go a little nutty after they came back?
It’s been so long, I can’t remember exactly how it went down at the end.
While were on the subject of great TV shows, what happened to 24?
Is that show a victim of the writer’s strike, or what?
I know that the new season WAS due to start in Jan.
Chas, you and I were writing at the same time, so I didn’t have the benefit of your post at 19. Thanks for the bolded line — all women will appreciate that one! I just don’t want to look all business.
While I never piled my hair on top of my head, I do remember those beehives. I was still young then, so I didn’t have to learn how to do that — thankfully! I was also one of those “lucky” people who had totally straight long hair, so I never had to iron it. Of course, I now envy women who have a little natural curl to their hair.
I think I’ll save the short haircut for my sixties and remain chin/shoulder length. Which means I have to find new pictures.
NJL, I was going to suggest a long-layered cut (doesn’t have to be real long, it’s just what they call it when it isn’t real short). I went with it last spring and have gotten tons of compliments. I also got some coloring, which my stylist graciously refers to as “highlights” but it’s really to cover some gray thats peeking through.
Luke, call your office!
http://snipurl.com/1yof6
Mr_Meaner: 24 has been a victim of the writer’s strike. I think they have nine or ten hours filmed. There’s a woman president in this one.
Jack regrets leaving. I think some were left behind, and he feels the need to go back — maybe rescue them? He was contemplating jumping off a bridge. He’s depressed about something.
I know what you’re saying, Mumsee, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. (Nail salons really blow my mind, and there are so many of them in NJ! For the life of me I don’t understand why I’d need someone to paint my nails! That seems like a total waste of money to me, but these businesses fare well here — my town has limited how many we can have.)
I always thought salons were the place where cowboys went to get shot.
And I never could understand why someone would get a pedicure.
(Lynn, -”Smarter than my 8th grader thread”- I spelled that one correctly, so there now
even if I don’t know what it means.)
NJLawyer,
I understand the need for image in the working world. Interestingly, I get a surprising number of compliments (male and female) which always embarass me and always shock me as it is so just hanging there. I guess the old “grab it and chop it because its in my eyes while tying the rest back” technique works well enough. And in my life there is no need for image.
Pray for the warped young 21 year old “father” who allegedly threw a 3 mos old baby out of a vehicle on a Corpus Christi Texas highway. The baby was found near a car seat by an off-duty jailer. He and his wife thought at first it was a doll. Forensics claim the child was already dead when ejected. I suspect the father is now across our under-policed, porous border. And Mexico will not extradict if the suspect faces a death penalty charge as you all know
And here locally a woman named McKnight now faces charges for the death of her child. (The fathe/livein boyfriend has already been tried). They were living at a motel in nearby Copperas Cove Texas. The woman’s story of how the child was injured of course wasnt consistent with the trauma the medical examiner said the child experienced. When EMS arrived the mother wasnt even in the room with the child. EMS thought a young woman attending franticly to the baby was the mom.
Invariably just when I get ready to say we dont need a death penalty, some monster will do something to an innocent precious little baby.
I’m still numbed by the Mexican immigrant in the USMC who killed Maria Lauterbach and her unborn baby.
Were crimes like these as prevalent before Roe v Wade or just not as widely disseminated??
KarenO,
LOST lost me long ago.
Us, too! We were really following it, but got mad when they did five episodes in the fall of ‘06, then went off the air until something like February. Never watched it again.
NJL…if you go with the longer layered look try to find someone who can do a razor cut. You can’t get one every time, it will ruin your hair but once is a while is good.
Salons:
Yes. I go to one.
Yes. I have a woman cut my hair. I suppose I could go down to the one in five points where the stylist is known to be gay, and has good taste.
No. I don’t let someone else touch the beard. I trim that myself. Other people cut it too short, and make me have to shave. I hate shaving.
Women’s hair:
I love it when my wife gets her haircut - especially when our stylist gets it right. She’s the cutest thing walking the earth, and she knows I know it.
I used to want her to grow her hair long, but she got it cut short one day, and I loved it.
Really the hair style depends on the person. I found a very good book for the women (mother, sister, wife) in my life, and they told me it was the best present I’d ever gotten them.
Color Me Beautiful by Carole Jackson, talks about not only the best colors on you, but the best styles for you. You might pick up a copy if you’re interested in looking good.
It’s interesting - I’ve run into lots of men in the last ten years who actually prefer their wives’ hair short.
Sawgunner,
Ever since that whole thing with Cain and Abel. As we continue to feed the selfishness of man, I suspect they will continue and become more common. Come quickly Lord Jesus.
CHAS - Maybe if you were to get a pedicure sometime, you would understand why people get them?
I’ve had one - it was very nice and the thing I liked the best was that the polish on my nails lasted 3 times as long as when I do them myself!
I’m looking forward to Lost, as well. My big question: how do I juggle Lost and my regular Thursday Bible study? Dang, I need Tivo.
I’m pulling for Ben to finally get killed this season. Creepy bug-eyed little guy…
Choose Lost and listen to a sermonaudio teaching on the passage you’re going through during the commercials. That’s what I do.
Sawgunner - I’ve often wondered about this possible slippery slope of Roe v. Wade, myself. When I hear a story of a mother killing her baby, I wonder how it would fly if her defense was something like “it just wasn’t convenient for me to have a child right now.” Why, oh why, is it horrendous to kill a child three days after it’s born but perfectly acceptable to do so three months before it’s born?
Dish DVR
I don’t know how I made it without it.
You can FF through the commercials. You can pause and rewind live TV. 100 hours of recording space.
It’s almost as good as TiVo
I don’t expect anyone to pursue this subject, but I thought I ought to mention it.
I just heard Paul Harvey say that the Dept. of Homeland Security is gaming a scenario they call “Cyber Storm”. The importance of this is impossible to overemphsize. Two Chinese Colonels, Qiao & Lang, wrote a book called “Unrestricted Warfare. Cyber attacks will be an important element. They have already shown that they can take out satellites. They say not to worry. But why would anyone want to take out a satellite?
NJ Lawyer,
I nearly always think a woman looks better with longer hair. Mine does best at about shoulder length. It will only grow a few inches longer–if it would grow all the way down my back, I’d wear it like that even if it didn’t look as good, but since it looks best at shoulder length and won’t grow much longer, I try to keep it there.
The one thing I can never understand is middle-aged women who start saying they’re too old for long hair, that long hair makes a woman look older. In my experience, it actually makes a woman look younger, at least these days. If nine out of ten women over forty have short hair and one has long hair, that one with long hair automatically has a youthful style. Plus, if her hair is pretty, she still has a distinctly beautiful feature rather than functional and professional, but non-feminine and not pretty hair. (I don’t plan ever to cut mine into shorter locks.)
Ever notice that most people keep their little girls’ hair about as long as it will grow, or at least to their shoulders? It’s not because it’s easier, but because instinctively we want our daughters to look feminine, and long hair is feminine.
A 90-plus sister of a good friend continued to wear her hair long, all the way down her back. The first time I met her I think she was in her eighties, and she wore it in a long braid. On her, hair grayed at the top, so the top of the braid was gray and the bottom was dark. I thought it was about the prettiest thing I’d ever seen, and completely countercultural to boot.
Chas,
Two types of satellites I can think of right off the top of my head would be prime targets in wartime:
Communication and GPS satellites. If you can cut off your enemy’s communication from command centers and location information, then you’ve just handicapped him severely.
NJL: Well, I probably shouldn’t advise you on hair styles.
Sometime last century (before I met my wife) I tried having longer hair, which was all the rage back then, along with dirty navels, beads and flipflops.
Anyway, after my hair had grown out, I began to notice that it had developed a sort of strange eerie luminosity. From a distance it looked exactly like a large radioactive rodent was perched on my head, chewing on the top half of my skull.
That was pretty cool, actually; all my buddies (who did not exactly have the highest standards, come to think of it) were quite envious.
More recently, I generally manage to cut the majority of my hair with nose-hair trimmers; style is not all that important for nose-hairs, I think, or at least I am not up on the latest fashions in nose hair arrangements. But would be interested in any ideas.
Speaking of which, did you know that there is a very scientific ‘conservation of hair’ principle?
This principle states that the total amount of hair on ones body actually remains constant over time. It just migrates downward from the top over the years, leaving a sort of moon-like wasteland up there, but popping out in great enthusiastic clumps from ones nostrils and ears.
But the overall amount of hair remains EXACTLY the same.
I had to trade my TiVo out for faster Internet. It almost wasn’t worth it. But we now have DVR. It’s okay so far.
Drill, there you go with that japery again.
Chas, my husband has made it very clear that he prefers long hair. He has indicated the point on my back he would like it to reach.
Cheryl D., I think one big reason a lot of older women want short hair is because their hair is thinner, and a short cut allows a style that puts some curl into it to make it look like there’s more of it.
Adios wins again! W.B. Yeats is correct. Please enjoy your digital triple espresso, black…
~000)
I don’t know how to do that tinyurl thing, so here’s a cut-n-paste. Am I the only one who’s seen this?
Washington (Reuters) – A group supporting civil rights for people with epilepsy has filed a lawsuit against American Honda. Irving Wasserman, President of the Epilepsy and Seizure Disorders Forum, claims the name of Honda’s popular “Fit” is insulting to epileptics. “They’d never name a car the ‘Spaz,’ would they?” Wasserman said at a press conference Wednesday, “How would this Japanese company react if GM started a ‘Slope’ division? We demand the immediate renaming and rebadging of this vehicle.”
Representatives of American Honda were not available for comment. The Epilepsy and Seizure Disorders Forum is an Internet-based group of epilepsy sufferers. With a claimed membership of 12,000, it began as a Special Interest Group on Compuserve in 1993.
StuBob, that’s just absurd.
Fit can many things besides an epileptic seizure. I doubt that Honda even had anything like that in mind.
To answer the rhetorical questions, I think “Spaz” would be an amusing name for a car but one that would never be used. Who would buy a car with that name? And “Slope” is a stupid name for a car, but if it were the name of car I don’t think anybody would associate it with Japanese people. I don’t even get it. Does it refer to their eyes?
Make It Man,
Five Points is just too far to go for a haircut! Now, I did know a great girl in Cumming/Dawsonville, but she had to go on maternity bedrest…
Stubob,
That’s just crazy as the day is long! As far as tinyurl, just go to www.tinyurl.com after copying the link for the page. Paste it in the box at the top of the tiny website, and presto-chango! You have a small link instead of a huge one. They even calculate the before and after character count!
Surely it isn’t going anywhere. But, I have to admit, the first time I saw a Fit I thought, “Is that to compete with the Toyota Conniption?”
I always thought “fit” went with “hale & hearty”.
Or, as “fit” for service.
Chas,
Me, too!
#19 Chas,
Sorry!
I’m sure it wasn’t funny when it happened, but the way you told it was funny.
Yesterday, I commented at the beginning of the thread on Lynn’s “ex-gay” post, saying I’d be back later. I didn’t get back until this afternoon, but for any who are interested, it’s there now.
Some people are just overly sensitive, aren’t they? Haven’t the folks at the Epilepsy and Seizure Disorders Forum heard of the phrase “fit as a fiddle”?
Cars and other products sometimes have to change names due to unintended meaning. The Chevy Nova did not do well in some Spanish speaking areas, as the name means it doesn’t go (even though it is two words no va) . I also heard that Exxon changed from Enco, since that word had some negative connotation in Japanese ( I don’t recall what it was though).
Pauline,
I’ve heard women say that longer hair on older women “pulls down the face” or something like that, somehow accentuating wrinkles. To me, instead, it makes a woman look like she’s still young.
Thinning hair makes sense–not a problem I have or ever will have! (My mom cut out the bottom half when I was a child, to give me a reasonable amount. It thinned itself naturally when I was a teenager; my sister and I both lost 30 or 40% of our thickness when we were about 16. But I always thought of my sister as having thicker hair than me; she says oh no, hers is curlier, but mine is still thicker than hers was when she was a child.)
Glad to see that ladies here like long hair. My husband and I like it on me too.
Sawgunner, I saw an article about the little baby. It bothered me was that the writer called the baby an “it.” I can’t imagine what it must have been like to find the little one. I do agree that Roe v. Wade has made it easier for people to do this sort of thing.
MakeItMan, I will check out the book you recommended.
Drill, I am trying to avoid the radioactive rodent look, hence my question. Keep up the japery (another word that belongs on the 8th grader thread).
Pauline is right about the hair getting thinner as one ages, and it changes in texture, too. (So, never say never.) My hair is shoulder length now and I like to be able to put it up, something I’m reluctant to give up. I think I look younger when it’s up, though even when it’s down and people guess my age, they take about 8 years off. (This is a good thing!) Quite a few women in my town are keeping their hair long and many are letting it go gray. This seems to be the new thing here. After this thread, I’m thinking my won’t get much shorter. Whatever happens, again I thank you all for your advice and counsel.
LOST: I want the little bug-eyed guy to go, too, but I’ve heard that people are not what they seem on the Island and he may turn out to be a “good” guy in the long run.
CherlyD,
That’s why I keep my hair short–it’s so thick! I always say it doesn’t grow down it grows out. And it is quite curly. Ever see the scene in Princess Diaries where the hairbrush breaks? Yeah, I’ve done that. My husband doesn’t like it long, or wide as he says. And since I’m half gray now I’ve discovered that gray hair has a mind of it’s own. One of my four daughters has my hair and keeps it mid-length and straigtens it. We look with evny at my other three who have long, beautiful hair. Don’t I wish . . .
I spent 9 hours on my feet at the art studio today!!!
The pain would have been terrible if I hadn’t worn Dansko’s.
I am formally endorsing this brand of amazing good-for-your-foot shoe.
Somebody will thank me.
My heart goes out to women who have to spend so much time, effort, and money on their hair. Long hair is a lot of work to take care of. I don’t blame women for getting shorter cuts.
For us guys, it’s so much easier. Myself, it’s a #2 all over, except for my bangs which are scissor cut so I can wax and spike them. In the summer it’s a #2 all over so I can wear a ball cap.
I’ve had a lot of hair styles over the years. My momma used to sit me on the porch and cut my hair with clippers. Then I went to the other extreme and had it long, parted in the middle. Then I had a rat-tail that was bleached. Even had a few curly perms. Then in the business world, I had the Clark Kent look for awhile. Now I’m just a plain old #2. I’m ready for a change, but I don’t know what to this time.
All that hair is hot in the summer time. I imagine if women found out how much cooler it felt, they’d be sitting down and saying “give me a #2 all over”. Of course, the men in their life would be horrified!
Of course my hair suits my lifestyle, which involves getting up at the last possible moment, and getting ready to leave for work in 20 minutes flat. I hate mornings! So spending time on fixing my hair is just out of the question. I feel sorry for women - they have to spend all that time fixing their hair and putting on makeup.
I hope Lynn isn’t insulted by this, but her pic reminds me of Erma Bombeck for some reason. I think it’s the hair.
Anlir.
My hubby is #2 all over also. At least on what he has left. He is quite patient with my gels, mousse, blow dryer and straightener.
And don’t forget about shoes! Men need black, brown, tennies and sandals. Women need black formal, black casual, red formal, red casaual, navy, white, teal, maroon, running shoes, walking shoes, sandals in every color and here in CA we apparently need formal flops and causal flops . . . it’s so much easier to be a man.
God makes up for this with red wine, chocolate and chick flicks.
Adios,
So true.
Well, folks I’ll be out of pocket for a few days. I’m off to start packing, then off to Mardi Gras, then driving home to Atlanta. If all goes as planned I will be snug in my own bed on Sunday evening. I don’t expect to be back on here until Monday or Tuesday.
Behave!
For a little change of pace, what do you all think about church attendance. Meaning, do you think a member should be expected to be at their church every time the doors are open? I got into an interesting discussion about this this morning (and I won’t say what side I am on b/c I want to know what you all think.) Of course, Sunday mornings are a given, but what about midweek Bible studies, outreaches, etc. Especially for those with lots of little children…
MoF - I was thinking of you earlier today.
To briefly answer your question in #67…No.
Interesting topic, MoF. How are you?
At this point in my life, with 3 small kids and my husband’s kinda crazy schedule (he’s a medical resident and works quite a few weekends), we usually get to Sunday morning worship and Sunday school and, when my husband isn’t working, to some Sunday evening services. Midweek Bible study just doesn’t work in our schedule right now.
It’s important to teach our children the value and importance of worship, of gathering together with God’s people, of careful study of God’s Word, and one way to reinforce that teaching is to take them to both morning and evening Sunday services whenever possible. Regular family worship is also key, and midweek Bible study can be another rich time in the Word.
In my view, as well as in my own experience, the discipline of regular attendance at worship services and midweek Bible study contributes to spiritual growth. God’s Word always bears fruit in the lives of his children!
That said, I also believe there are times when we, as frail, mortal creatures, need to stay home and rest rather than dragging ourselves (and our kids) out to every event going. There are Sunday evenings, for example, when I may become a hazard to myself, my kids, and other drivers if I venture out for the 45-minute drive to attend evening worship. And then there are other Sunday evenings when I’ve been tired but gone to church anyway; those services often have been a particular blessing to me.
I think this issue has much more to do with our hearts, before God, than with our own or others’ expectations of our participation in church activities.
Interested to see what others say…
Momoffour:
I don’t remember (if you’ve ever mentioned) how old your children are. I don’t think there is any biblical command to be at church for every service, but I do think it can be a blessing.
One thing to think about as the kids grow up: I’m 40 now, and when I was growing up, prayer meeting was a regular meeting of the church that I think a good percentage of adults attended–but their children didn’t. Children had AWANA or stayed home with babysitters I guess–not sure. Mom and Dad took us to prayer meeting with them. Today, most of the seven of us attend prayer meeting. (I’m not sure about my two single brothers; one probably doesn’t, one probably does.) There’s no biblical requirement to attend prayer meeting, but it seems to me that it’s a good thing–and it also seems more likely that kids will have the habit as adults if they have it as young people. I don’t know that I’d want to corral a three-year-old, but a ten-year-old should be able to participate on some level.
BTW, when I had the foster kids (four and six), I knew it was probably unrealistic to expect young, unchurched children to sit still in our small-group prayer meeting. (We have about 4-10 people each week.) A friend of mine very graciously said that I could bring them, and she’d watch them on the church playground. I took her up on it a few times, and brought along their “bedtime snack,” so she could feed it to them and I could drop them into bed when I got home. (One time I almost literally had to drop them into bed–it was raining, so she took them to Playland, and they wore themselves completely out and fell asleep on the way home.)
Our church doesn’t have regular Sunday evening services or midweek services, so it’s not an issue for us. I generally try to get to the evening services when they have them, but don’t feel I have to.
Instead of a churchwide midweek meeting, they strongly promote small groups, which meet weekly either at the church or in homes. For the past four months, Wednesday evening was the highlight of my week, meeting at someone’s home for supper, getting to know each other, a topical Bible study, and prayer. The couple who hosted us are taking a class right now though, that keeps them too busy for both weekly commitments.
I’m in a class Sunday mornings also, but even though we sit at the same tables every week so people get to know each other, it’s not the same as a whole evening together in a home.
I have a completely off-topic question for Outkast so I’m putting it here.
Outkast, did you ever here the tribute concert to Gene Eugene that Adam Again and a group of guest vocalists did at Cornerstone 2000?
I just picked up a copy of the CD and thought it was remarkable. Mike Roe especially did a good job with the songs he sang. The CD set has two older Adam Again concerts too and while the sound quality isn’t great, it sounds like they were a great live act. I wish I’d had a chance to see them.
Sometimes I really miss Gene Eugene.
Thanks for thinking of me, MMacMurray and VS. I’m doing alright 8*) Going to bed for now, but I’ll check in the morning to get some more thoughts about my church attendance question, if anyone else wants to weigh in. I, too, am blessed whenever I attend something at our church; but not if, when we do miss, we get the evil eye….Kind of takes the joy out of fellowshiping.
Good night!!
Yep, that would take the joy out, Momoffour! I have a good friend with whom I often visit for an hour or so after our midweek prayer. If one of us isn’t going to be there, we call the other one. So rather than feeling guilty about not being there, we simply know we will be missed. (And in a tiny group, every regular or semi-regular is missed when he isn’t there!)
My husband and I came to know the Lord at an Independent Baptist church. It was emphasized that church attendance was a true sign of godliness. In fact, the pastor would preach about the “Sunday morning only crowd”. God forbid we were to be in THAT category.
We cannot even imagine how we did it before. Well, I guess I do. We put church attendance above our family’s well-being. We rushed around a lot. Our lives were pretty hectic, but we were doing it for the Lord. Or maybe for our church.
We now go to a non-denominational church that is family inclusive. The whole family worships together. Children are not separated into their peer groups. There is a potluck meal every other week and often people stay for hours fellowshipping together. There are no midweek services. Once a month we will gather at a different family’s house for prayer and fellowship. There are happenings here and there and people invite each other over frequently. I used to do church. Now I don’t as much. We cherish our Sundays, worshiping and fellowshipping and we take care of the needs of our family the rest of the week. My husband works long hours but he is still the spiritual head and he leads us in daily devotions. He couldn’t when we were so involved in all the activities and the busy schedule our other churches demanded.
When the question about whether every church meeting must be attended arises, maybe the problem isn’t with the attender, but with the program.
Mo4– God doesn’t love us any less if we let the church meet without us; He doesn’t love us any more if we make every meeting.
When I was a kid, people in our church used to say, “People who come Sunday morning love the church; People who come Sunday evening love the pastor; People who come Wednesday evening love the Lord!”
What contemptible, false-guilt-inspiring, Godless, sanctimonious garbage.
StuBob said it better than I was going to.
Very good points, everyone. Thanks!! Have a blessed weekend.
Thanks, StuBob.
I’ve learned not to visit family over a weekend or Wednesday night. If I’m at a family member’s house on a weekend, for instance, I have to go to Sunday school as well as church. Now, as a rule I don’t like Sunday school, and I certainly don’t like being among strangers for Sunday school. Church, I can deal with it. But it never in a million years occurs to people to say, “We usually go to church Wednesday night, but we can stay home that night if you’d rather.” Now, the other side is that if they’re at my house, they assume they’ll go to church with me (they bring it up on their own), so I don’t have to miss. But with guests other than family, I’ll go to church Sunday morning no matter what, but for other services and classes, I will check to see what the guest wants.