If you are in your 20s or 30s and a baby boomer is discipling you, write a book about it. Your experience is an anomaly. One universal characteristic of America’s first “me” generation is that they do not seem to disciple younger men. Ask a 25-year-old man in your church who is discipling him or ask a boomer man to name one younger man he is discipling and you will likely hear crickets.

In a recent conversation with an 80-year-old, well-respected, sage pastor in my denomination, he expressed disappointment that the men he had invested in during his 45-years of pastoral ministry had no “Timothys” of their own. This pastor told me that his own generation (the “Builders”) was deliberate in discipling and caring for their younger brothers in the church. Their efforts were integral to the development of so many of today’s strong and gifted boomer leaders. This retired pastor, shaking his head, looked up at me and said, “I can’t figure out what happened.”

A few months ago I had the privilege of attending a meeting of what some would call evangelical “movers and shakers” (primarily boomers). During the meeting there was a collective realization and lament that they had no disciples and that they had not invested in the younger men. I sat there in shock. If the all-stars had missed it for all those years, what hope was there that other boomer men discipled?

While I was in seminary in my early 20s, a group of us prayed that a few older men in the church would seek us out for discipleship. One of my friends even wept as we prayed. We made real attempts - but it never happened.

Churches, marriages, families, and communities continue to suffer because older men are not shepherding younger ones. Older men discipling younger men, life-on-life, is not just a good idea, it is commanded and modeled throughout the entire biblical story (1 Tim 5:1, Titus 2:6, 1 Peter 5:1-5, 1 John 2:13-15, Proverbs 27:17). Discipling is essential to the Kingdom (Matthew 28:19-20). What will it take for men discipling men, all of them, to become the ethos of our churches? This effort will not reduce to a pragmatic “program” or a “ministry” but a way of life.

The birth of the first of the baby boomers in 1946 marked the start of a lifelong quest for success. Newsweek’s Jerry Adler looks at how their meaning of success has evolved over the years:

Whoever dies with the most toys, wins.

It might not have been the most profound statement of the meaning of existence, but it fit on a bumper sticker, the medium in which the intellectual history of the baby boomers is mostly written. It neatly expressed the midlife surrender of idealism (see Make love, not war) to which every generation of revolutionaries succumbs, and also the competitive spirit that overtook the boomers as they dropped out of their communes and lost interest in Eastern religions. If you wanted to know where you stood in life, you didn’t need to look into your soul, just your closet.

Whether you are a baby boomer or not, how has your definition of success changed over the years and how do you define it now?