Barack Obama went bowling in an attempt to win the hearts of Pennsylvania’s blue-collar voters. According to serious pundits (including Jon Stewart), however, his dismal bowling failure chinks his rock-star armor and casts doubt on everything from his manliness to his personal character.

Obama dropped by the Pleasant Valley Bowl (Altoona, Pennsylvania’s “Hottest Night Spot“) and tossed a bowling ball for the first time in 30 years. He threw a couple gutter bowls, went for seven frames until he scored a spare, and then called it a day. Final score: a pitiful 37 out of 300 possible points.

The Baltimore Sun consoles him: “From a public relations standpoint, it was a ten-strike.” The Sun may have spoken too soon.

Sports pundits were hardly impressed. According to Media Matters, MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough mocked Obama as “dainty,” said “Americans want their president, if it’s a man, to be a real man,” and doubted the tie-wearing, book-reading candidate’s effectiveness in winning working class voters. NBC’s Harold Ford defended Obama’s athleticism and fawned a bit: “It showed a human side to him. … It showed a very humble side to him.”

Conservatives were even less impressed. Over in National Review’s Corner, Byron York speculated that Obama has alienated “those blue-collar workers who are said to be the key to victory.” Michael Goldfarb found much significance in the fact that Obama stopped at the seventh frame: “Quitting and making excuses when things get tough…it doesn’t bode well. … It would be nice if Obama showed a little resolve in anything but sticking by his anti-Semitic preacher.”

Jon Stewart echoed their concerns on a Daily Show segment mocking media coverage: “How can you keep our jobs from going overseas when you can’t even keep the ball out of the gutter?”

On April Fool’s Day, Hillary Clinton herself took the opportunity to posture as the tougher, more experienced bowler and (of course) mention that 3 a.m. phone call again:

I’m prepared to play this game all the way to the 10th frame. And when this game is over, the American people will know when that phone rings at 3 a.m., they’ll have a president who’s ready to bowl on Day One.

Since way back on August 5, when the Steelers marched over the Saints in the Hall of Fame game, you football fans out there have had gridiron action to look forward to nearly every weekend. Now that the Giants have pulled the big Super Bowl upset over the no-longer-perfect Pats and another weekend’s upon us, where do you sports fans turn your attention? Yeah, I know, the Pro Bowl will be played in the land of leis tomorrow afternoon, but does that count? (I don’t think so.) Glancing through the “Sports on TV” section of USA Today, here are your options:

• Boxing: Welterweights rock ’em and sock ’em tonight in California.
• Bull riding: The PBR series bucks its way into Anaheim this weekend.
• Bowling: The PBA sets its pins up in El Paso tomorrow.
• Tennis: The United States will be volleying in Vienna in Davis Cup action against Austria today and tomorrow.
• Golf: Choose from the PGA European Tour in India (I think there’s somewhat of a geography problem there), the Champions (a.k.a. “seniors”) Tour in Boca, and the PGA Tour’s best playing alongside a gaggle of celebrity hackers at Pebble Beach.
• College basketball: Both the men and the women will tip it off in a number of TV games across the country this weekend, wrapping it all up tomorrow night with the Clemson men trying to put an end to their school’s amazing streak of futility (0-52) against North Carolina in Chapel Hill. With Tar Heel point guard Ty Lawson ailing, this may be the year for the Tigers.
• Pro basketball: ABC and ESPN will offer 11 consecutive hours of men in long shorts tomorrow.
• Motor sports: The NHRA’s Winternationals power up in Ponoma, Calif., while NASCAR’s 2008 season gets into gear tonight in Daytona with the Budweiser Shootout followed by pole qualifying tomorrow afternoon for next Sunday’s 500.
• Oh yeah, and there’s a hockey game on Sunday: Ducks and Wings (sounds kind of fowl).

But if you still need a taste of NFL action, skip the Pro Bowl and tune in tonight to the Gospel Music Channel, where you can catch Giants Super Bowl star receiver David Tyree and players from every team in the league singing together in a gospel choir.